My Heart Has No Home

My Heart Has No Home provides a moment-by-moment account of my grief after my wife Amy died suddenly at age 50. What started as short, directionless posts — driven by the simple thought that I wanted to share what it’s really like to lose a loved one — turned into a Facebook blog.

The publisher says: “Definitely worth a read, My Heart Has No Home displays modern masculinity at its best, offering a shining example of friendship and connection, community, and mutual support. Inspiring, vulnerable, truthful, sad, and joyful—don’t miss it!”

Kirkus Reviews gives it their Get It recommendation, calling it “An intimate, emotionally raw journal of grief.” Read the whole review.

Why did I write it?

Amy was an alcoholic, and had come close to death a number of times in her life, but in the end, it was no long, slow liver disease that caught up with her. She died three days after being admitted to the hospital. As I sat bereft and sobbing in her hospital room, it occurred to me that we don’t, as people in our daily lives, talk much about the grief we go through. And I wanted to do something to change that.

So I started posting on Facebook about what I was feeling and thinking and learning as I grieved. At first the posts were simple and short, but people responded in an encouraging and supportive way, telling me that what I was sharing was meaningful to them. I kept going, and opened up more. And it became clear that I was helping people.

My posts came to encompass the specific ways grief was hitting me in the moment, as well as what I was learning and how I was healing. In all of it, I tried to be as honest as I could, including my pain and flaws as well as Amy’s, and how those interacted in our marriage.

The response from my friends and family blew me away. These are only some of the original responses:

  • “helped me in ways I didn’t know I needed”
  • “impressed with the vulnerability”
  • “helped me in many ways with the loss of my mom”
  • “amazed and grateful”
  • “helps me a lot coming to terms with death”
  • “rare to see such a raw exploration done with this kind of depth and skillful expression”
  • “positive and real”

After a few months and encouragement from friends and family, I decided that if this content could help so many of the people I know on Facebook, maybe it could help people out in the world too. So I collected the first six months of my original, unedited Facebook posts along with some ‘Reflections’ intended to provide more emotional context to the post and share places where I’ve learned and grown since then.

What I didn’t anticipate is that the book also serves as a journal for me, recording many powerful moments and insights I’d have otherwise forgotten.

Where can you get it?

Support your local bookstore – call them and order it! My Heart Has No Home is available to order through IngramSpark.

Where to buy My Heart Has No Home online: