{"id":21,"date":"2011-04-15T17:25:35","date_gmt":"2011-04-16T00:25:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.johnworsley.name\/?page_id=21"},"modified":"2012-05-28T22:14:00","modified_gmt":"2012-05-29T05:14:00","slug":"autarkeophobia","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/johnworsley.name\/?page_id=21","title":{"rendered":"Autarkeophobia"},"content":{"rendered":"

From The Abyss, Summer Solstice 1999 edition, vol. 1.5<\/em><\/p>\n

His mother said she didn\u2019t mind, and it was obvious she did really want to be understanding.\u00a0 He appreciated her desire, but the guilt still dogged him.\u00a0 He still felt the weight of the unspoken judgement, piled on pound by pound in people\u2019s facial expressions, the looks in their eyes, the body language, the abrupt changes of topic. \u00a0 He tried to avoid the subject, to navigate each conversation around that dreaded sandbar, but somehow he still ran aground most times.\u00a0 He just didn\u2019t know how to explain it to anyone.\u00a0 There hadn\u2019t been any substantive difference when he was married, just a different person putting up with him – trying not to lose patience when he had no contribution of his own to make, trying not to get mad when he couldn\u2019t do things on his own.\u00a0 No one had judged him then, as though it were okay as long as you were married. \u00a0 It wasn\u2019t anything he\u2019d done that had ruined his marriage, it was all the things he hadn\u2019t done, hadn\u2019t been able to do.\u00a0 After the divorce he\u2019d moved back in with his mother, and he was still there \u2013 35 years old and living at home.\u00a0 He had Autarkeophobia, the fear of independence.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From The Abyss, Summer Solstice 1999 edition, vol. 1.5 His mother said she didn\u2019t mind, and it was obvious she did really want to be understanding.\u00a0 He appreciated her desire, but the guilt still dogged him.\u00a0 He still felt the weight of the unspoken judgement, piled on pound by pound in people\u2019s facial expressions, the…<\/p>\n Read More<\/span> Autarkeophobia<\/span><\/a>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":16,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"Layout":"","footnotes":""},"class_list":["entry","author-me","post-21","page","type-page","status-publish"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/johnworsley.name\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/21","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/johnworsley.name\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/johnworsley.name\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/johnworsley.name\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/johnworsley.name\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/johnworsley.name\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/21\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":147,"href":"http:\/\/johnworsley.name\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/21\/revisions\/147"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/johnworsley.name\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/16"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/johnworsley.name\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}