Scotch Medleys
A 'Ah bonnie lassies, ye are so loverlee, B Bonnie, yer head is as sweet as a pint a' bitter, C yer tongue as sharp as ye hair be dark. D And when the robins come singing this spring, D I hope ye and I can go at it again. C You love a good fight, with your mama's spark B I'll tongue lash ye like my father. (A) Ah, an it'll be love I'm feeling when I glimpse yer panties as ye tek a pee. Ah Bonnie, ah Bonnie, how many more times Must I feel what I feel and be serchin' fer rhymes I've got sech a fire, ya have me afeard You'll take up with Angus and his wee bushy beard." [transition music] [harp solo] [transition suavely to different Scottish song] [clap along now] "Hey, hey, me Bonnie, me lassie, You look so good in that drassie. I might be right, though maybe I'm wrong, I hope that you'll be liking this song. Hey! [chorus] [Harp should be detuned now] [sung in full voice] "Arrgh atg Blarsty sang Fhastacata dang! [unintelligible] [expletive deleted] [release the geese now] And I me missin ye nag!"
AFTERWORD: Twelve Scottish gents who first performed this song in Twangley Glen were received so enthusiastically that they were last seen pedalling frantically past Widow Ayre's house naked as the village gals fought over their kilts. For years afterward, they wrapped newborns in those kilts and such bairns were seen to have uncanny good pitch. Bonnie won many beauty contests in the highlands, but got cranky after 10 kids and eventually boated out into a misty lake and never returned.
