Izzy
Today we have a new person. Izzy, tell us about your addiction to Pride & Prejudice - the mini-series version, of course, and be as honest as you can.
Izzy gazed down at his untied shoelaces and contemplated concocting an elaborate tale about his mother chaining him to the TV at the age of 3. He sighed. The truth would be better. It was always better. Dragging in a ragged breath, Izzy said, "It started with Lizzy."
"Izzy and Lizzy, sittin' in a tree," a heckler burst out from the other side of the circle. The moderator turned a mild look of reproof upon the blonde in the boots, and she was immediately removed by two burly rent-a-cop wanna-bes in white uniforms.
"Go on Lizzy," he misspake himself intentionally. But Izzy had closed his eyes and withdrawn. He couldn't help it - that outcry, however humorously intended, struck too close to the painful truth. Her handsome features. Her steadfast wit.
"L-Lizzy," he began, "Had something I always needed in my women... always needed but never got. The way she would say 'Jane, she must know she's marrying the stupidest main in all of England!' all flustered-like melted me on the inside.
The Moderator held up his hand and silenced Izzy with a minimal flick of his wrist. "You are pathetic, and I pity you, but we cannot help you, good-bye."
This time, the white uniforms came for him. Desperation fought panic and despair as his mind raced to decide whether to grovel, go limp, scream obscenities, or just let it happen. Panic got the upper hand - and he sputtered, then despair and the two men got him in a headlock and his moan receded from the room. After a blackout, he came to in a small cell whose only other occupant was blonde-boots massaging her temples.
"He did it to you, too, huh?" blonde said. the woman was so uncouth, so uncultivated. Not at all like Lizzy, yet he could feel himself falling for her - yes, he could learn to worship the sequined boots even more piously than an Edwardian bonnet.
"What's your name?" he blurted out.
"Katherine - but you can call me Kitty," she said laughingly - and he was done for.
