The Thing Above The Door To The Basement
It was edible, no question about that. Even our next door neighbor wants some, and she never eats anything. At least, by the look of her. One time we tried to hug her, but missed. It was audible, no question about that either. The humming - no, droning sound was unmistakable. Even our next door neighbor agreed it was loud, and she's the one who made it. She's always making them - honks, screeches, rasping, high-pitched tapping, thunking, clunking, clinking, clanking and the low, sonorous yodelling we had come to like. It was, well, smellable too, a wonderful delectable aroma that drew more than flies and kids inside. Much more, in fact, than that. There were antelopes, orangutangs, cheetahs - all coming from our scant suburban underbrush. I tried to take pictures, but a giraffe took offense and confiscated my camera the old fashioned way. It was consumable, but no one wanted to be the first to admit that. Oh well. I knew how to deal with all these distractions. I would go to the lady herself! First I had to get past the military front line and the security cameras, without tipping off the press in the process. I had the tunnel for that, and five minutes later I emerged from the dark into her kitchen. I could hear the exercise bike downstairs. I heard its regular squeak-squeak and our prisoner's regular heavy breathing as I rushed on past. The tunnel was dark, but I could smell my way through it every time.
"Margaret, is that you?" Her voice echoed.
"Maybe," I said back. I wanted her to face me without her animal entourage, and all their human groupies.
"Could you decide either way?" she enquired sweetly.
I marched on, passing under the thing above the door to the basement. I ignored its feathery tendrils brushing over my head, and marched on, on down the hallway toward the bedroom, where I hoped to unearth secrets. What I found there I can and will not say. It's for your own good, believe me. But it spelled the end of the edible, audible, smellable, consumable monstrosity that had tried to wipe out humanity today. My neighbor!
