The Thighmaster Safari

(post-titled by Alan)

01) “What are we doing here!!” she says madly.

08) “I’m starving after doing my Thighmaster™ exercises!

09)The spa opened onto a safari, with elephant stampedes,

15) “and why is the game fence down? We'll be killed!”

04) “What kind of idiot do you take me for?” I replied.

16) “Wrong answer!” she said donning jodhpurs and

18) removing his clavicle with a surgically precise jumping jack,

06) using it as a boomerang to hunt wild turkeys with.

03) “You can’t do that with a Thighmaster!” he shouted.

20) She and her dog set upon the turkeys but didn’t

22) catch any because they got caught in a sudden brush fire.

12) Barking along with her dog did the trick. She was on fire!

11) She dropped to the ground and rolled to “This Hallowed Ground” to put it out.

10) I wondered if I should leave her to sail around the world. No. She was my love.

05) And nothing could match the ‘Eva Marie,’ anyway.

19) But I still want to try it

17) until I couldn’t take it anymore. So I called room service.

07) “Sir, should I put warm water in the tub for you?”

13) “Yes, Closet!” But she tried to drown me instead. Pulling out

14) “Of course!” she said “That’s how I show you I love you!”

21) He didn’t know what to think of her style, but it left him

02) completely sated.