Karma Forwarding

(pre-titled by Amber)

Sally couldn't afford another bad hair day, with the CEO in town, but she had only done the dishes twice that month. This would take a withdrawal. She went to the KarmaKeepers web site

There were options available for when you are out of town and want to ensure that your kharma can reach you being advertised boldly on the main page. Sally clicked on the login button, typed in her username and password, and hesitated briefly before clicking "sign-in".

It seemed the forces of the universe were already ahead of track on her case - a line of red type reminded her her password had elapsed 3 days ago. To get a new one, she would have to make a quick foray into a past life and extract a name. Opening a new tab, Sally hit the bookmark for 'regression.newage.com' and waited for the mesmerizing page to load. Tapping her fingers impatiently, Sally felt a good deed coming on. Uh oh.

Normally this would be just what she wanted, but with her account disabled any karma points she gained would be useless to her.

"What should I do now...?" She accidentally closed the webpage but didn't want to open it up again. Her computer immediately crashed. It looked like Karma Keepers was beginning to collect early. She used her cell to check on her savings account. Sure enough, it still had a good a balance from the gift from her Grandma To be sure, she quickly collected litter in a five block radius, fixed a sagging roof, volunteered with orphans, and pulled up carpet in a flooded house, free of charge. She saw in a passing mirror that her hair was perfect again. Now to the meeting.

On the way, she picked up 4 empty coffee cups, 2 candy bar wrappers, and a report for the guy in the cubicle across from the conference room. "Now the meeting should go well," she thought. "I could probably even get a scholarship if I tried."

Little did she know that the CEO was now crouched on the bathroom floor of his mistress's second apartment, frantically talking on his cell phone to his hired imposter.

"No, you don't understand! No, it doesn't matter how late you are! Don't speed. Do NOT! speed. And don't run any yellow lights. Don't you get it? The agency said you were clean! All good karma for 30 days guaranteed. You're blowing it ! I can tell you're blowing it right now! Sally will walk all over you! I might as well be there myself!" He wailed over the noise of his girlfriend's hairdryer.

When Sally saw her boss enter the conference room she knew right away that something - was not quite right. It was either déjà vu, or a premonition, or - perhaps a negative karma aura of mass proportions. Yes, that was it.

Someone was in the red! Sally's eyes glowed and she felt the excitement grow. What an opportunity ... if she did this right, anything was possible. She looked out the window and felt there was hope again in her life! Even though it is raining outside, Sally felt she was never this happy in her life!

"I must do something!" (Continued on 3/10/2007) she thought. She stood suddenly and said "Do you think we should all join hands and sing Kum-By-Ya?" It would raise everyone's karma by several points, and many saw it quickly. But a junior exec balked, saying "Sing 'Come buy pot'? How could you even think that?!"

"Come buy pot?" shouted the boss, turning purple. "What kind of moron are you? Everyone knows Kum-By-Ya. Did I hire you?" The poor junior exec was trembling now. "Never mind! You're fired! And I don't want to hear --"

Something smashed into the thirtieth story window, taking out both Sally's boss and the attitudinal junior exec. The young man was left merely dead, but the CEO had been obliterated from the face of the planet. This would mean promotion, Sally realized, but she must not gloat. (Nothing ate karma points faster than a good gloat.) "Today is really my day!" "I might get promoted!" she thought. Sally was thinking she could use this opportunity to pull her brother out of kharma-jail. A position of power would allow her benevolent actions to reach farther and reap more... - she stopped there, it was a fine line between gloating and giving.