Just What Is A Title, Anyway?

(pre-titled by John)

I love asking questions, don't you? Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone thought the same way I do? Can't you just picture it now? Is that your drink or can I have the rest of it? Wouldn't it be better slightly chilled? Would you like to see my high school diploma? Is that a yes? Can you reach it? Can't you do anything right? If I were bald, would you think better of your frizzy, matted, greasy locks? Will anything get you to shower? Have you ever seen a full bar of soap? Feeling personally attack ed, don't you realize that people around you can smell your insecurity? Did you know that I can, and will crush you with a mere look? Why would I do that, you ask incredulously? Because I tire of you so-called suave street people all wanting to borrow my comb? When did I ever borrow hair-care products from you? Why would I? And how could you? Isn't that the real 600 pound question in the room? After I gave up a thriving career as a gravedigger to follow you across the country and support you in starting your new business, Title Loans, Inc, how could you tell me a title would be wasted on me?

I quit.