Muffy Never Liked Her

(post-titled by John)

Carolyn took 300 years to discover that she could, in fact die. After surviving natural disasters, 14 car accidents, and three attempts on her life, a small bite from her eleven year old cat finally killed her.

Muffy had never truly liked her, not really. In fact, it wasn't until five days later that she realized that her beloved cat had actually been a vampire.

It was hard to tell, of course -- cats already have fangs and weird eyes. Looking back, what could have been further than the truth? Only then did she realize that her longevity combined with the cat's bite had turned her into a vampire. With kitty ears. And a tail.

"I don't want a tail!" she complained. "I can't scratch my butt anymore! And it itches! Man does it itch! I mean itch. Aaaaaaaargh!!!!"

But nobody understood her now, except for the green-eyed tomcat on the fence who clearly thought she was a babe. She swiped at the other cat's face. "Go bother Muffy!" she yowled.

The male cats lined up along the fence in anticipation, until Carolyn thought there just might be enough of them to create her own undead army and finally wipe out the canine infestation.

Carolyn, now one of the living dead, thought "at least I like cats." Of course, she had not realized that not only was she a vampire, but she was also a cat. What motivates a vampire cat, she wondered. No matter, she had forever to figure it out. She failed to see the neighbor kid with a bow & arrow; and he was aiming at Her!

It was in that moment that Carolyn, the undead vampire cat who had lived for 300 years learned that she had hypno-eyes. The boy lowered his weapon and ran off into the day to do her evil bidding.