Number 3 In The Left Side-pocket

(post-titled by John)

The tall, bird-like creature held the pool cue on one of his claws and whistled his frustration. The Aldebaranian ambassador did not want to lose face by missing the shot. The core to negotiations with the Bodons was proving that your species was capable of competitive sports, and his species was pretty much incapable of any kind of sports, being limp of limb and slow to a degree matched only by the Mandarin turtle, which was not actually a turtle, as turtles died out many millennia ago. Probably because they had been so slow. The simple fact was that all Aldebaranians were incredibly slow. Fortunately, the slowness of the ambassador allowed Cragmorthen to make an impossible shot without being called out for possible cheating: the white ball collided into the stack of numbers, scattering the 11 & 13 into opposite corner pockets, then the bird-like creature fell dead to the ground drowned in a pool of blood, then suddenly a patrol of bird-like creatures spotted two sportsmen and aimed their sharpened pool cues (commonly known as a weapon and source of fun on their planet) and descended down to the bowels of Hell as they stabbed random elves.

The Bodons were impressed, and dropped their demand that the Aldebaranians surrender their territory. They had a common enemy now - the elves.

But then the elves turned into fuzzy pink bunny rabbits! That were also zombies. And they ate all the other peoples' braaains ...

because

Those Aldebaranians were just too darn slow. Feather and blood flew everywhere. Then the bunnies started their own game of pool. "Number 3 in the left side-pocket," one bunny called, and sank her shot. Bird skulls made good cue balls.