Confessions of a Bodyguard Slash Model
(post-titled by Amber)
Frankenstein he was not! Dracula? He wished! He came undone like a mummy, but couldn't pull off the wolf that is until he found the right hair dresser. The fabulous Rufus Coen inventor of the wonderful wolf do had promised him not simply fame and fortune, but the perfect coiffure.
And now, the last of three appointments was nearly over. He sat in the chair, nervously waiting for Rufus to remove the turban wrap that covered his entire head. The hair implants on his arms & neck were healing nicely, and they didn't have to do anything to his palms — he already had that covered — so-to-speak!
Rufus made him wait, teased him like he had used to do his hair and then came out from behind the beads of iniquity with a swoosh and said: "You've heard of werewolf in London, darling? You're ready for Paris! You'll..." he covered a titter, "eat them up!"
They both laughed with a wink, then Rufus folded his arms and adopted a serious tone. "Now, my friend I have to tell you something very important about Paris. My grandfather lived in Paris for years, and one thing the natives will never tell you, but which you in particular need to know in order to survive there-"
But before Rufus could warn him, he slipped on some bikini wax drippings left from the last step in the Wolf Do process and swallowed the comb he had been sucking on for emphasis. Though he was choking, he wouldn't let anyone touch him for fear it would muss his do, leaving our Wolf Guy to face the dangerous streets of Paris alone and the terrible Nazi zombie fashionistas will rip him apart — critique-wise and well, let's face it, physically, but fortunately he remembered his handy dandy emergency wolf-do gel otherwise known as "Miracle Wolf" which left his hair bulletproof and with fabulous body. And with that he decided to become a bodyguard/model — working to protect Georgio Armani while simultaneously making his suits look fabulous.
He did sort of have a Jekyll & Hyde thing going for him — by day the award winning slashie (voted most weird, but cool at the MTV music awards), at night he scoured the streets of Paris, scaring tourists and people afraid of hair, and made friends with the Phantom of the Opera and the Dog-Faced Boy.
